Riku, Sora, and Kairi's Random Rendezvous Returns!
by Rain-chan
Summary: Woo! The random story of the century is back with a vengance! It's going to have more chapters, more humor, more characters, and more randomness! Warning: Do NOT put your Thinking Caps on!
1. Cheap Toothpaste and Pretzels

**Hi! This is the newest sequel to...uh, what's the title of that story? Oh, yeah...no wait. I don't remember. But it's the sequel to the story I wrote where Sora knocked down Riku's living room wall by throwing a rock at it. Aaaaannnnddd...never mind. Just read the story! It's funny! So laugh!**

**Disclaimer: If I have to say "I don't own Kindgom Hearts" one more time...AUGH! I JUST SAID IT! I don't own Mr. Bean, either, by the way. Or Fire Emblem. I own a copy of the game, though!**

* * *

Riku, who had finally gotten out of his 5 month groundation, was sitting by the side of his house with Sora. They were once again bored.

"Riku, I am once again bored," said Sora, sighing. He was once again bored. Well, duuuuhhhhhhhhh!

"Well, it took me 5 months to rebuild the side of the house using only cheap toothpaste and pretzels. So don't you even THINK of throwing anything at it." Riku crossed his arms.

"Man," sighed Sora, dropping a rock. "Why cheap toothpaste and pretzels?"

Riku started crying into his hands. "Because it's all I could afford!"

Finally Riku was done crying. But they still had nothing to do, and so they were once again bored.

"Hey," said Sora. "Wanna go ride dirt bikes?"

"I guess so." Riku sighed. Then he stood up. "Let's go."

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Rain. She was sitting in a dark room with a TV on, holding a Gamecube controller. "I WAS SO CLOSE! IIIIIKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Rain threw down the controller and repeatedly pressed the 'reset' button.

Suddenly there was a crash from another room. Rain tore herself away from battering her poor Gamecube and ran into the kitchen.

There, she saw the wreckage of one wall, and among the debris, two dirt bikes.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?" Rain screamed, pulling at her hair. "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?"

"For one thing, you built your house right in the middle of a dirt bike track," said Riku, sitting up and brushing himself off. "For another thing, you sent Sora dirt bikes for Christmas."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rain sobbed, throwing herself to the ground. "It took me 5 MONTHS to build this house!"

"Wow, that's-hey, wait a minute. How come it took you 5 months to build a whole house, but in 5 months I just built a stinkin' wall?" said Riku.

"Easy! I hired the help of our cute Moogle friends!" said Rain. "Along with my personal, non copyrighted friend, Ben!"

"Huh?" Ben, who was rooting through the refrigerator, looked up.

"But, all I had were some pretzels and cheap toothpaste!" cried Riku.

Rain shrugged. "You should have bought name-brand." She reached up and put bunny-ears on her head. "Look at them bounce!" she said, moving her head back and forth.

Ben looked at her ears. "Yeah, well, I'm going to go and buy some more soda."

"Ew, not the cheap generic kind," said Rain, making a face.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside Rain's house, Funky Magnum sat in the bushes. He held binoculars up to his face.

"Do you see anything?" asked Funky's friend, Hailey.

"Hailey-I mean, Ridiculous Paperclip, I can't see a THING out of these stupid binoculars!" Funky shook the binoculars up and down.

Ridiculous Paperclip pointed at the binoculars. "That's 'cause the cap's still on."

"Oh. Oh! Duh!" Funky removed the cap. "Now I see! She's wearing those STUPID rabbit ears! And she's with those two idiots, Sicko and Snora."

"Um, I think it's Riku and Sora. And I thought you liked those guys."

"I did. That is, until they did THIS to me!" Funky pulled off his hood, showing his new haircut.

"But, didn't your mom make you get a haircut?" Paperclip asked.

"Yeah," Funky grumbled, "And I hated it. Now, to proceed with operation Q."

"Operation Q? I thought it was called operation Pin-"

"No!" cried Funky, clapping a hand over Paperclip's mouth. "It's a secret! That's why we have cool codenames!"

* * *

Rain hopped out the door. "Boing, boing, boing!"

"I thought you were determined to beat Fire Emblem!" Ben called from the other side of the dirt bike track.

"That was until that idiot Ike died...again!" Rain called back. "We're going to the video store to rent Mr. Bean the Movie. So we can play it on the plasma TV!"

"I love that movie!" called Ben. Then he was run over by a dirt bike.

Rain shrugged. "That's the danger of having your house built on such a secret spot. People are always trying to sabotage it."

"That makes sense." Sora nodded.

"That makes no sense at all!" cried Riku. "It's a public-access dirt bike trail!"

"Whatever."

* * *

"What?" said Rain. "No Mr. Bean?"

The video store guy shrugged. "Man, we don't carry anything good. When are you people going to learn that?"

"But-I-want-Mr.-BEAN!" yelled Rain, pulling out a pointy stick. "And I will poke you with this pointy stick until I get-ooh! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?"

Finally, Sora, Rain, and Riku left the video store.

"I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!" Rain wiggled her bunny ears. "It's the BEST! Uh, by the way, we've been out all day, but where's Kairi?"

Sora shrugged. "Beats me."

"Beat you! My pleasure!" came a voice from a nearby tree.

Someone flew out of the tree and started beating Sora with a stick. "Take this!"

"What the heck?" Sora whimpered. "Help meeeeee!"

"Oh!" Rain exclaimed. "It's Rachelle!"

"Rain! Hurray! I've finally found you!" Rachelle stopped beating Sora and high-fived Rain.

"Okay, but why were you beating my friend?" Rain bobbed her head to make her bunny ears wiggle.

Rachelle looked down, looked up, looked down again, and pointed at Sora. "Him? He asked me to. I specifically remember him saying 'Beat me.'"

"Well, I guess you're right. But, what brings you to Destiny Islands?" Rain helped up a bruised Sora, who was now crying.

"Your friend?" asked Riku, nodding at Rachelle. "Figures, she's as crazy as you are."

"I was playing with my new speedboat, and I accidentally crashed into a wall made out of cheap toothpaste and pretzels." Rachelle shook her head. "Whoever built it should have bought name-"

"MY WALL!" cried Riku, grabbing his head. "MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME!"

"Oh, Rachelle, Ben's visiting. He helped me build my ultra-cool house." Rain pointed to a nearby hotel.

"Ben? Wow, I haven't talked to him in ages!" Rachelle started running for the hotel. "I'm going to say hi, then I have to go, because I have a synchro class. Ciao!"

* * *

**Okay, that's chapter 1. Um, it's not very exciting yet, but it's going to get better! So watch out! Chapter 2 coming soon! As soon as my stupid computer starts working!**


	2. Bobobo!

**And here's chapter 2! Ben and Rachelle are gone for now, but they might come back later. And they don't have weird names because they are my actual friends. Really. Uh, riiiight. So, read on!**

**Disclaimer: Do you like the sign I made? points to sign I painted it pretty colors. Which means black. The words are in red, 'cause if I have to write this one more time, heads are gonna roll! sign says: Rain doesn't own Kingdom Hearts! Deal with it! Or Bo-bobo. Too baaaad. Or Corpse Bride. That movie rocked!**

* * *

Sora, Rain, and Riku were sitting outside, eating ice cream cones.

"This is great!" said Riku, licking his ice cream.

"What's even better is that I'm not paying for it!" said Rain.

"And...hey, I paid for these, didn't I?" Sora pouted.

"Hey!" called Kairi, walking up to the three. "How are you guys?"

"Hi Kairi!" said Sora. "Where've you been? We haven't seen you all day!"

"I was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," said Kairi, sitting down next to Sora. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Well, Rain terrorized a video store manager, Sora was attacked by a maniacal girl, and then he paid for our ice cream." Riku took another lick of his ice cream cone.

"Well, that sounds...fun..." said Kairi, choosing her words carefully.

"Hey," said Rain, standing up and walking to the garbage can with her uneaten ice cream. "Let's go to my house."

"You have a house?" asked Kairi.

"Unfortunately, yes," said Riku, jumping up. "What are you doing with that ice cream cone?"

Rain dangled it over the garbage can. "Throwing it away. Why?" Then she dropped it into the garbage.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Riku, dropping to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He threw his hands in the air. "THE INHUMANITY!"

"Why did I buy you ice cream if you're not eating it?" asked Sora, standing up as well.

"Because. I wasn't paying for it!" said Rain, bouncing off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Funky and Ridiculous Paperclip sat in the bushes by Rain's house.

"Are you ready to initiate our plan?" Funky asked Paperclip, putting down his binoculars. "Hailey?" He turned and saw Hailey snoring against a tree. "HAILEY!" he yelled, shaking her.

"Huh? Whazzat?" Paperclip sat up and accidentally punched Funky in the face. "Oops, sorry."

"Ugh," said Funky, clutching his nose. "Anyway, it's time for-"

Suddenly they heard people coming up the dirt bike trail. "Who is that?" said Funky, checking his watch. "It's only 12: 30! They shouldn't be back until..."

"Uh, Na-I mean, Funky, that says 3:00."

"DANG!" Funky had never learned to read clocks properly, and cursed their existence. "Curse your existence, clocks!"

* * *

Sora, Riku, Rain, and Kairi sat on the couch in Rain's new living room. Riku was munching popcorn, Kairi was clutching a soda, and Sora was covering his eyes.

"No!" yelled Rain, causing Riku to spill the popcorn. "Don't go to the crazy pope!"

"He's always in on it!" Sora whimpered.

They watched as Victoria knocked on the door. The door opened and a scary decrepit old guy who should have been dead answered it.

"He's married to a corpse!" cried Victoria. "Please help me!"

"Ahahaha," said the pope man. "Of course I'll help you."

Kairi shrieked. "That man! He's the ugliest thing alive! Even uglier than the head waiter!"

Suddenly there was a nock on the door. "Pizza delivery!" called a weird voice.

"Ooh, I'll get it!" shouted Sora, jumping up, making Riku shove the bowl of popcorn in his own face.

"Man," said Riku. "I got popcorn up my nose."

Sora was about to open the door when...

"I said, Pizza delivery!" The door flew open and hit Sora in the middle of the head. Sora fell over and...

"Woah!" said Riku. "It's a man with a yellow 'fro!"

"Hey, man, don't wig out," said the man with the yellow 'fro.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed a girl with pink hair, flying through the window.

"MY WINDOW!" shouted Rain, bumping Riku, who was sipping a soda.

"AUGH!" yelled Riku, spilling soda all over himself. "My shirt!"

"I can get that out using dish soap!" said an orange thing, popping up from behind the couch.

"OH GOD!" screamed Rain, looking at the three weirdoes ruining her house. "IT'S THAT IDIOT BOBOBO AND HIS TWO DIPSTICK SIDEKICKS!" She pulled out a bazooka. "Where's that sneering kid?"

"I don't know," said Beauty, pulling a lollipop out of her hair. "I still haven't quite figure out what's going on."

"Mm, apple!" said Don Patch, grabbing the lollipop. He licked it and threw it at Riku. "I hate apple!"

"Then why'd you lick it, you freak?" yelled Riku, pulling the lollipop off his face.

Then the annoying theme song from Bobobo started booming throughout the house.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Riku, flinging his hands over his ears. "I HATE THIS SONG!"

"I kinda like it," said Sora, sitting up from where he had passed out on the floor. He stood up and started dancing. He turned to Beauty. "Is your hair made of cotton candy?"

"Cotton candy!" cried a bald man, jumping in through another window. "Yum!"

"AHHHHHHH!" screamed Beauty, nearly deafening everyone in the room. "It's the hair hunt troop! He's gonna shave my head!"

"Just cut it off already!" yelled Rain, running out of the room.

"Where's that music coming from, anyway?" asked Kairi.

Kairi, Riku, and Sora turned toward Bobobo. Suddenly Kairi screamed.

"IT'S COMING FROM HIS 'FRO!"

And sure enough, Bobobo's 'fro had opened up, and a huge boom box was playing the most annoying song in the world.

Rain was mysteriously absent.

* * *

Rain walked through the woods by the dirt bike trail, waving around her bazooka. "I know you're there, sneering kid."

Suddenly the sneering kid sneered from behind a tree.

"I SEE YOUR SPIKY HEAD!" yelled Rain, pointing the bazooka at the stupid kid.

"No, wait! I can explai-"

* * *

"What was that?" said Kairi, hearing a huge boom.

Sora ran to look out the window. "Oh, look, Kairi! a shooting star!"

Then the 'shooting star' was gone. Was it really a star? Who knows? But let's just say that the sneering kid was never heard from again. EVER.

Don Patch was bouncing around Riku, wearing lipstick and acting like a girl. Riku was holding his head. Kairi was asleep on the couch and Sora was knocked out NEXT to the couch.

_(Flashback)_

"No, Don Patch!" yelled Beauty.

There was a huge cracking sound, and Sora turned around to see what it was, when he was hit with half a door.

"Sora?" said Kairi, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Oops," said Don Patch, chewing on a CD.

_(End Flashback)_

"I feel like I have the world's worst babysitting job," muttered Riku, as there was an explosion from the kitchen.

"Bobobo, I don't think that's how you use a blender..." said Beauty in her annoying high-pitched voice.

Just then, Rain barged into the house. "YOU!" she yelled. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Okay," said Bobobo, and disappeared into his own head, taking Don Patch and Beauty with him.

Riku rubbed his eyes. "Where've you been? You left me alone with these freaks!"

"I was stalking my prey," said Rain, wiggling her bunny ears.

"Whatever." Riku fell over and started snoring.

"Huh." Rain shrugged and turned on the movie.

* * *

**Well, that's it for...what is this, chapter 2? Yeah, next comes chapter 3. Any ideas, review! Or else, the story gets it. Wow, that was a short author's note.**


	3. Who's the freak?

**And chapter 3! Hooray! Cue Cheering Really, I have my own people who would cheer for me. I'm serious! Oh, this chapter has Harry Potter bashing! So either don't read it, or don't complain. I'll tell you here flat out: I HATE Harry Potter. I'm not one of those 'speculacus magitory' or whatever weirdoes. But, enjoy the story! And I'm not calling you weird!**

**Disclaimer: Kicks sign Now I have to make a new one! I don't own Kingdom Hearts! I don't own Harry Potter! I don't own Ike! And I don't even know if I spelled their names right! Or Mick Jagger.**

* * *

The day after the Bobobo scare, Riku was still asleep on the chair, and Rain was once again playing Fire Emblem.

"I LOVE YOU IKE!" she cried, as Ike defeated another boss.

Kairi and Sora decided to go down to the beach. Little did they know what awaited them...

* * *

Sora and Kairi were about halfway down the beach when something hit them. Literally.

"Ouch!" yelled Sora. "Something hit me! Literally!"

"Oh!" gasped Kairi. "Me too!"

"Garden-gnomus attackicus!" shouted an annoying voice.

"What the-" said Sora, and then was hit by another garden gnome.

"AHA!" shouted the owner of the weird voice, jumping out from behind a palm tree. "I've got you, spike-head, and your little-"

"What the heck?" said Sora, who was being pelted by garden gnomes.

"They're attacking! It's a revolt!" screamed Kairi, running down the beach. She ran into the person who had come out from behind the tree.

"Ouch!" said the person, stabbing himself in the forehead with a pointy stick.

"What's with the stick-a-majigger?" Sora said, walking over to the guy.

"What?" said Kairi, trying to hear over the kid's whining. "Mick Jagger?"

"No, his stick!" Sora screamed over the terrible sound.

"It's my magic wand!" said the kid, waving it around. "I'm a wizard!" he exclaimed in that annoying voice.

"He's prince charming?" Kairi shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is. He's ugly." Suddenly she gasped. "Oh my gosh, I cracked his head!"

"Huh." Sora crouched down next to the kid. "I'll bet I can fix that." He pulled out a tube of Gorilla Glue and started slopping it all over the kid's head.

"Woah, it's not a crack!" whined the kid. "And I'm not 'the kid'! I'm Harry Potter!" he spluttered.

"I think he said it's getting in his hair," said Kairi.

"He wants some in his hair? Well, I don't know, but..." Sora started squirting glue all over Harry's hair.

"Hey!" cried Harry. "That's gonna stick!"

Kairi winced at his voice. "I think he's getting sick."

"He wants a pointy stick? But he already has one!" said Sora.

"Geez!" said Harry, getting up. His head was full of glue. "I'll call my magical friends, Ron Weasley and Herminie Granger!"

"He wants a red weasel and a cheese grater?" asked Sora, his ears still ringing from Harry's wails.

"No, I think he needs an art easel and a bowl of peas." Kairi stuck her finger in her ear.

"Hi!" said an ugly skinny kid with red hair, popping up behind Harry. "I'm Ron Weasley!"

"What? Did he just call me a weasel?" asked Sora, frowning.

"You're right, Don, your hair IS beastly!" said Kairi. "I'm Hermoinie," said an annoying girl with hair way too big for her head.

"What kind of a name is Hermifattus?" said Sora, staring at her hair. "And what is that thing on your head?"

"It's HERMOI-"

"A hermit?" Kairi asked, as the effects of Harry's deafening voice wore off. "No wonder your hair is way to big for your head! You need a hairstylist!"

Sora nodded. "You too, Don Weasel." Then he turned and started walking down the beach.

Kairi followed him. "What a bunch of freaks," she said, then was hit in the back of the head with a large pizza.

"Pepperonus pizzacus!" shouted Don-I mean, Ron.

"What the-" said Sora, as he was once again hit by a random object (or, in this case, food).

"I specialize in food magic!" said Ron. "I'm a food wizard!"

"And I specialize in...actually, I'd rather not say." Hermuffet-er, Hermoinie-frowned.

"I'm the gnome wizard!" said Harry. "I command the greatest evil in all the world! And I'm so macho because I just won the Pudding Cup!"

"Pudding Cup?" asked Kairi.

"It's a super secret tournament," said Ron. "We can't talk about it."

"Yeah, but it's with all these puddings, and you have to-" said Harry, before being silenced by Herminie, who had stabbed a fork between his eyes.

"No more plastic!" she yelled. Then she chanted, "Forkacus silverarium! I'm the silverware wizard!"

"And we come from Hogbutt's school of Wizzery!" shouted Harry, forks sticking out of his head.

"It's actually Hogwart's school of-" said Ron before he too was stuck full of silverware.

"O-kaaaaay," said Sora. "Kairi, let's just slowly back awayyyyy..."

"Riiiiiiight," Kairi said, backing away. Then she and Sora turned and ran, leaving Larry, Kermit, and Moron-oops, my bad, I meant HARRY, HERMOINIE, and RON-flinging weird, random objects at each other.

* * *

Back at Rain's house, Rain had a sudden urge for a slice of pizza. Then she stabbed a garden gnome with a fork.

Riku was still sleeping, so Rain then started stabbing him with a fork.

* * *

**So ends chapter 3. You like? I know I may have offended some people with this highly controversial topic, but...don't kill me! I feel like I spend many author's notes begging for my life...well, I warned you, and it's your fault for reading!**


	4. Theodore Parts

**Rain: Woo! I'm back! And I brought with me a new co-host!**

**Sasuke: What am I doing here?**

**Rain: Whatever I say.**

**Riku: in shock What about ME?**

**Rain: Well...that's what I have to talk to you about.**

**Riku: What?**

**Rain: This chapter...is about who gets to be in the Author's Corner for the time being.**

**Sasuke: I can kill this guy.**

**Rain: No! You can't kill him! He's in my story!**

**Riku: I think I'd like to stop talking about killing Riku...**

**Dislciamer: counting on fingers I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Sasuke, Alvin and the Chimpmunks, or Ian Newby, or Bo-bobo, or Kiyo, or...I'm going to run out of fingers for this!**

* * *

Rain stood in the living room, talking on her cell-phone. "Yeah, I ordered an extra-large pizza 4 HOURS ago. I'd BETTER get it free." She put down the phone and called for Riku.

Riku walked in, and pointed to the couch. "Who's he?"

"I'm Sasuke," said Sasuke.

A bunch of girls screamed through the window, and Rain had to pull the blinds down. "I hate it when they do that."

"Huh." Riku crossed his arms. "You think you're so cool, don't you, Mr. I-think-I'm-so-cool."

"No," said Sasuke. "You do."

"Ooh," said Rain. "Good one."

"I do what?" asked Riku, confused.

"Think I'm cool." Sasuke didn't even blink.

Riku was very confused now. "Wait, I think I'm cool, or I think you're cool?"

Sasuke blinked. "You do."

"I do what?" Riku frowned.

"Think I'm cool," said Sasuke, becoming puzzled.

"You think you're cool?" asked Riku.

"Yes," said Sasuke. "Wait, no. I-"

"Would you two stop it?" yelled Rain.

"Why is he here, anyway?" said Riku, trying to regain control.

Rain looked from Sasuke to Riku. "Well...he might...how should I say...be REPLACING you in the-"

"WHAT?" cried Riku. "You can't replace me with that...that..."

"Bishounen," said a fangirl.

"Right," said Riku, then he did a double take. "Wait, what is she doing in here?"

"I smell trouble," muttered Rain.

"I smell something burning," said Sasuke.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sora screamed from the kitchen. "IT LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!"

"Cricket, cricket, cricket," said Ian Newby.

Rain turned and looked at Ian. "Would you get out of here?"

"I wore a fat-suit for Halloween," said Ian, walking out the door.

"Yeah, we know. And you get to be Sainta Nickolaus." Rain rolled her eyes. "Just get out."

Finally, Ian was gone. Or maybe he was in the kitchen, being used to put out the flames. Who knows? Not that anything is being implied...

Sasuke stood up. "This is really boring. Why did you bring me here?"

"Boring?" Riku cracked his knuckles. "Time to heat things up a bit, eh?"

Sasuke sneered. "You think you can beat me? You're just a weird kid with blue hair."

"IT'S SILVER!" screamed Riku.

"Look, his face is turning red!" said Yuffie from out-of-nowhere. "Now he's red-white-and-blue!" She started singing 'Stars and Stripes Forever'. "Oh, hurray for the red, white, and blue-"

"Where did you come from?" asked Sasuke.

"From out of nowhere!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Didn't you read the sentence up above?"

"Oh," said Sasuke, "Right."

"It's-a-palooza!" shouted Yuffie, blowing up an orange balloon.

Rain started singing. "Clowns are from the circus, barking comes from dogs, eggs come from a chicken and log cabins come from logs, but where, where do they make balloons?"

Yuffie grabbed a tank of helium and started blowing up more balloons.

All of a sudden, Alvin and the Chipmunks popped out of the wall. "Did someone say Helium?" asked Alvin in his annoying voice. "We breathe that stuff!"

"Yeah," said Simon, "and we breathe it so much that now we're addicted."

"I like pie!" said Theodore. "Wait, where's Teddy?"

Rain was lighting a fuse on a fire-cracker attached to a teddy-bear. "Oh, uh...oops." The bear blew through the ceiling.

"TEDDY!" screamed Theodore.

"I can get you up there," said Rain. "For 5 bucks."

"Hurry, Teddy needs me!" said Theodore, handing Rain a $5 bill. "Keep the change."

"There is no change." Rain looked at the money in her hand. "You know what, launching fees just went up, so I'm gonna have to charge you extra."

"Oh. How much extra?" said Theodore, digging in his green dress.

"$50." Rain put her other hand out. "Pay up."

Theodore gave her a $50 bill.

"Hey, where did you get all that money?" asked Alvin, clearly jealous.

"I swiped it off Dave," said Theodore. "I was going to buy some FOOD." He started drooling.

By then, Rain had taped another rocket to Theodore. "There you go, time for blast-off!" She lit the fuse and started counting down. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

There was an explosion, and when the smoke cleared, everyone looked up through a hole in the roof. Theodore was just a little speck, following another little speck, that was presumably Teddy.

"I'm coming, Teddy!" Theodore's shrill scream could be heard all the way in the house.

Just then, the second speck blew up in a gigantic explosion.

"Ahhhh!" screamed Theodore. "Teddy!"

There was another explosion. Several minutes later, little bits of Teddy started falling from the sky.

"You might want an umbrella," said Rain, handing one to Riku.

Then little bits of Theodore and his green dress started raining down on them.

"Crud!" said Alvin. "What about my show?"

Suddenly there was a voice that rang through the house. "ALVIN!"

Dave through the door, grabbed Alvin by the throat, and started shaking him around. "You stole my money, Alvin!"

"Why's it always me?" asked Alvin, trying to keep his little neck from snapping.

"Dave loves Alvin the most and hates Alvin the most," said Rain, sweeping up Theodore parts.

* * *

"All right!" said Riku as soon as the chipmunks and Dave were gone, and Theodore was cleaned up.

"Thanks!" called Rain out the front door to someone carrying wood and a hammer. "Now Theodore won't come raining through my roof again!"

"No problem!" called Kiyo. Then he ran into a post. "A little help? I can't feel my legs."

Rain shut the door. "Ah, that Kiyo. Such a kidder."

"Hey, I'm serious!" But poor Kiyo was forgotten for the time being.

"So," said Riku, turning to Sasuke. "Methinks it's time to finish this up."

"Who says 'methinks'?" said Rain.

"Someone who's about to get his butt whooped," said Sasuke, standing up. "Let's go!" He reached for a shuriken.

"Oh, it's on." Riku grinned, and pulled out his Soul Eater.

But before they could exchange blows, or even one more insult, Sora came flying through the newly-patch ceiling. He landed on Sasuke, and half of the roof landed on Riku.

"Oh, sorry if I interrupted anything," said Sora, sitting up.

"Of course not." Rain put her hands on her hips. "Well, that settles it. Sora is the new co-host!"

A disco ball came down from the ceiling and started spinning around, throwing flashing lights against the walls. Confetti rained down from the ceiling.

"Woo!" Sora stood up and started dancing as the theme from Bobobo started playing.

Rain smiled, then frowned. "What is that music doing in my stereo-system?"

Then, to everyone's horror, or at least everyone who was conscious, Bobobo flew down from the ceiling, dressed in an Elvis costume.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" shrieked Rain, grabbing her head. "IT'S THAT IDIOT BOBOBO!"

Bobobo started driving matchbox cars around the floor. "Vroom vroom!"

Rain pulled out a mallet and hit Bobobo in the head. "Got him!" yelled Rain, trying to smash the mini Don Patches that were scurrying around on the floor.

"What's going on?" asked Sora, freaked out.

Just then, Bobobo's head opened up and Mickey Mouse popped up. "Hey, folks!"

"It's the King!" said Sora.

"Oh great, just another thing I needed." Rain put her mallet down. "I think this calls for secret technique #48!" She started doing Kung-Fu. "Fist of the pink poodle!"

Then Kiyo flew through the ceiling. "AUGH!" he screamed, hitting the floor. "I think that's it for my spine!"

Rain, mistaking him for Bobobo, kicked him in the head. "Woops. Well, no damage done." She turned away from Kiyo, who now had blood running down the side of his face.

* * *

**Rain: Well, that was kind of chaotic.**

**Sora: No kidding.**

**Riku: Why aren't I in this author's note?**

**Rain: You lost.**

**Riku: But so did Sasuke! Who won?**

**Rain and Sora: Sora!**

**Riku: What? But he wasn't even-**

**Rain: Sora won. Don't be a sore loser. And, besides, I was getting tired of Sasuke anyway. He's annoying.**

**Sasuke: Whaaaaat!**

**Rain: You heard me! Now, let's not make the readers suffer any more, hm?**


	5. A Magical Land!

**Rain: It's me, KingdomRaindrops!**

**Sora: And Sora! (eating candy)**

**Rain: Today, we have something very special! A new guest will be coming!**

**Sora: Up here?**

**Rain: No, down there. In the story.**

**Sora: Uh.**

**Rain: Yeah. So, without further ado, let's begin! (strikes anime pose)**

**Sora: eating candy Ahhh! coughs I think I'm choking! Universal choking sign! (anime style universal choking sign)**

**Rain: So, in this story is my new friend, Guardian Angel21!**

**Angel: (waves)**

**Sora: (choking)**

**Angel: Should we help him?**

**Rain: Nahhh. This chapter is long, because of the previously short one. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Muahahahaha! I will take over the world with my nothing-ness!**

* * *

Rain sat on the couch flipping through channels. "There are no infomercials on TV!" 

Riku stood in the doorway. "Why the heck would you want to watch infomercials?

Rain stood up, turned off the TV, and chucked the remote at Riku's head. "Because I'm me!"

"That's great." Riku rubbed his head and looked at the remote on the floor.

Suddenly there was a noise from another room, and the sound of someone shouting at...washing detergent?

"You haven't beat me!" cried the voice, and there was a huge crash. "Haha! Check and mate, evil detergent! You've breathed your last!"

"Who...is that?" asked Riku cautiously.

Someone came bouncing in through the door. "I killed it!" she said proudly.

Rain clapped. "Hurray!"

The two girls started singing, 'The Wicked Witch is Dead'.

"Ding dong," sang Rain.

"Ding dong," sang the other girl.

By now Riku was just watching with a freaked-out expression.

Rain stopped and walked over to Riku. "Sorry, Riku-kun! I didn't mean to freak you out! Well, yeah, I did. But, that's beside the point. This is my new roomie, Angel!"

"Woo!" cried Angel, popping a container full of confetti. "Woo!"

"Great," said Riku. "Now there's TWO of you!" He brushed confetti out of his hair. "This place is a-"

Sora walked down the stairs. "I just finished washing the catapult. I think it's ready for launch."

Riku started at Sora. "Do I even want to know what you're doing?"

Angel ran around the room. "Jell-o! Jell-o! Jell-o!"

"Since we have four people," said Rain, sitting on the couch. "It's time to play hide-and-seek!"

"What?" said Riku.

"Cool!" said Sora.

"Yay!" said Angel.

* * *

"Okay!" Rain clapped her hands. "Sora first!" 

Sora pulled up his short shorts. "I'm going to count down from 100!"

Riku flinched. "Why do we have to wear these weirdo outfits?" He looked down at his Oxfords.

Rain brushed out her skirt and pulled up her knee-socks. "Because. I think they look nice."

Angel adjusted her cardigan. "I feel like I'm in jolly ol' England!" She switched to an English accent. "Alright."

"Yes," said Rain, in an English accent. "Let's begin. Sora, begin the counting. Come, Riku, Angel, let's hide."

Sora sat on the couch and closed his eyes. "99, 98, 97, 96..."

The three ran through the now many halls of Rain's previously small house.

"Hey," said Riku, trying to forget that he was wearing suspenders, "How did your house get so big? And where did all the armor and wood-paneling come from!" He glanced at a suit of armor as they ran past, their sensible shoes making noise on the solid wood floor.

"Shhh," said Rain.

"Let's not disturb the professor!" Angel whispered.

* * *

A short time later, the four sat upstairs in an unknown room in Rain's newly huge house. 

Sora scratched his leg. "Rain, my knee-socks are starting to cut off my circulation. And where's Kairi?"

Angel hissed.

"Who cares?" said Rain in a depressed way. "The McGoofus is angry with us."

"Who?" said Riku.

"Now that it's stopped raining...hah...RAIN...anyway, now that it's stopped raining, we can go play outside."

"Why..." Riku started, then got hit on the head with a tennis racket by Angel.

"Where's your English patriotism?" she asked, still talking in an English accent.

"It flew out the window with all of your sanity," grumble Riku.

"I think it's fun!" Sora adopted the accent, and pulled up his socks. "Let's go outside. Good man."

* * *

Rain, Angel, Riku, and Sora ran through the halls. 

"Good going, Riku!" hissed Rain.

"Hey, it's not my fault the boomerang went through the stupid window!" cried Riku.

"Yeah, it is," said Angel. "It happened right after the computer! Plus the hard-drive!"

"We have to hide!" said Sora, in an English accent. "The McGoofus is after us! Again!"

The four stuffed themselves into a closet just as the McGoofus came into the last room they had hidden in.

"I'll find you kids! A-hyuck!" said the McGoofus, shuffling out of the room.

"Whew," said Rain, wiping her head.

"You guys are afraid of THAT?" said Riku.

Angel pushed him backwards.

"Hey!" Riku fell back, through the pollyester and spandex jumpsuits that were for some odd reason in the closet. Then, there was a startled, "Wow."

Rain, Angel, and Sora ran through the seemingly endless closet, emerging into landscape covered with...powdered sugar. Little smurfs ran around in the trees.

"Mmmmmmm!" exclaimed Sora, grabbing a handful and shoving it into his mouth.

Just then, two penguins emerged. "Heeeey!" said one penguin.

The other pulled out a karaoke machine. "It is time."

"Woo!" cried Rain and Angel. "Karaoke!" They grabbed microphones, and started singing the theme to Kingdom Hearts.

"Cool!" said Sora, grabbing a microphone.

Riku shrugged, and joined them.

* * *

Much singing later, Riku and Sora sat on the couch in Rain's living room. Sora was rubbing his black-eye, and Riku was trying to splint his own arm. Luckily, it was just a sprain, or else he would have had to spend the rest of the story in a cast. 

"This chapter was boring." Sora suddenly burst into flame. "AUGH!"

"NO ONE CALLS THE CHAPTER BORING!" cried Rain, holding a scepter.

"YES!" Angel pulled out a chrome baseball bat.

"Woops." Sora decided now would be a good time to leave.

* * *

Several minutes later, there was a knock on the door. 

"Ready yourself," whispered Rain, reaching for a conveniently-placed crossbow. "It's zombie-time."

"Toys are against the law," Angel whispered back, reaching for a pointy stick.

"They will learn to ph34r us with great ph33r."

Riku just stood up and opened the door. And was met by a horrible, horrible squealing sound.

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" came the animal-like cry.

"It's worse than I thought!" cried Angel. "It's...a PREP!"

Sure enough, a girl in a tight Hollister shirt stood on the threshold. "I love you, Riku!" she squealed. "You are so hot!"

Sora, walking up the steps behind her, flinched at the now-familiar voice.

"IT'S POPULAR-GIRL!" cried Rain and Angel together.

"CRUD!" screamed Riku. "NOT AGAIN!"

"Um..." Sora paused on the front steps. "I guess it wasn't such a good idea that I brought..."

"Brought..." Rain readied her crossbow.

"Kairi!" Kairi yelled, running up the front steps. "And it IS, Sora! It's time to try out this new rocket-launcher I bought at...well, the location isn't important!"

Rain put down her crossbow. "Kairi has a rocket launcher? Sw33t."

"Oh &#)$!" cried Popular-Girl. "You ruined my outfit last time! I am, like, so totally out of here!" She ran down the steps.

Sora dove into the bushes as Kairi ran after her, wielding a huge mechanical gun. "Get BACK here!"

* * *

Funky Magnum and Ridiculous Paperclip sat on a bench on the opposite street, reading newspapers with eyeholes cut out. 

"You see them?" whispered Funky.

"No," said Paperclip. "But I do see something scary."

"What?" asked Funky.

"It's a-" But Paperclip never got to finish her sentence, for just then, the two were hit with a rocket.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screeched Funky as his clothes caught fire.

* * *

**Rain: Yeah, wasn't that great. But the next one will be! This is my first in a while, and now I have some great ideas!**

**Sora: We want to thank the reviewers!**

**Rain: We love you!**

**Angel: Yeah!**

**Rain: And remember! It's a difficult responsibility to be first toymaker to the king!**


	6. Popcorn and a Movie

**Rain: We're baaaaaack! (cue ominous music)**

**Angel: Yay!**

**Sora: Woo! (break dances)**

**Rain: (does the Robot)**

**Angel: (sings karaoke) When you walk away...Maxwell's silver hammer...dun dun dunnnn...My hotdog has a first name...Scooby-dooby-doo...Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!**

**Rain: We heart Jack Sparrow! (waves 'I Heart Jack Sparrow' flag) Let it begin! Ph34r the r4nd0mn3ss! Note: This is the first time I actually had to hurry and write a story due to popular demand! You reviewers are what make things happen! Hug yourselves! Or...maybe not that...**

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Kingdom Hearts is brought to you today by the I Don't Own Anything Corporation. All hail poor people! Sorry this one's short...**

* * *

**Rain and Angel sat in the living room. They were bored.**

"I'm bored." Rain was sticking labels all over herself.

"Me too." Angel was trying to throw popcorn into her mouth. So far, she had missed every single try.

There was a knock on the door. Riku walked in, tried to get to the couch, failed, and looked down to see what was keeping him at the door.

"What? Is this...POPCORN!" Riku looked at the floor that was covered in popcorn so deep that it went to his waist.

"Woops." Angel tried to sit up, but was buried. "I kind of...missed."

"I can SEE that." Riku kicked popcorn out of the way. "How much did you make!"

"Weeeeeeell..." Angel finally succeeded in sitting up.

"Neither of us really made it..." Rain was trying to get to Riku through the mess on the floor. She tripped and disappeared under it.

Riku glanced down, and was startled as Rain popped up on the other side of the room. "Well, then, who made-"

"Sasuke! I TOLD you, you only put THIS MUCH in!" A voice rang through the house.

"And I told YOU that I'm not any good at cooking!" The other voice was clearly Sasuke, Riku's previous rival in a fierce death match. Well...maybe not DEATH match...

"But it's popcorn! How can anyone screw up popcorn?"

Rain raised her hand. "I can."

"Sad," Riku muttered. "Truly sad."

"That's IT!" cried Sasuke. "Why do we keep trying? Look at the house!"

"But...at least you can't see that stain I made when I tripped yesterday!" came the other voice.

"Who is the maniac that keeps making all this popcorn?" asked Riku as yet another wave of popcorn rolled down the hall.

Just then, the door to the kitchen opened, and Sasuke ran out. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I CAN'T FRICKIN' MAKE POPCORN!"

"But SASUKE!" Sakura ran out after him. "Just one more time! Pleeeeeease?"

"GOD NO!" Sasuke ran around the living room in circles, or tried too, before becoming entangled in the sea of popcorn. "WAAAAAAAAAAA!" He tripped, and was gone."

"Oh..." Sakura put a finger to her chin. "Mmmmm...Now where did he go?"

"Who," Riku said, freaked out, "is THAT? And why is her hair PINK! AND WHY IS SHE IN YOUR HOUSE!"

"Uh..." Rain paused. "See, I can't make popcorn. So...I got our good friend Sasuke-"

Sasuke stuck his head out of the popcorn, gasping for breath. "GOOD FRIEND!"

"Shut UP, Sasuke!" Rain threw the remote at his head. "AS I was saying, I got our good FRIEND SASUKE to get his girlfriend-"

"_GIRLFRIEND_?" Sasuke spluttered.

"-to come make us popcorn."

"Not one of our better ideas," said Angel, finally reaching Rain and Riku.

"YOU!" cried Sasuke, pointing at Rain. "YOU!"

"Oh, Sasuke, you are so annoying!" Rain said cheerfully. "Go on the roof and be angsty, or something!"

* * *

"All right," Funky said to Paperclip. "I'm going in."

He reached for the door.

But just as he grabbed it...

The door opened, and popcorn came pouring out, burying him in a buttery mess.

"WUAGH!" Funky couldn't scream properly, because his mouth was full of popcorn. Thus the strange noise.

* * *

"Ooooooooh," moaned Angel. "I'm STUFFED."

"Yeah," Rain sipped her soda.

"That's not the generic kind, is it?" Riku asked suspiciously.

"Of course not," said Rain, mocking Riku. "I only drink NAME BRAND."

"Ha. Ha." Riku turned on the TV.

Rain's eye twitched as she beheld what was on.

"Go Goofy, go Goofy!" chanted the crowd, as Goofy break danced.

"Donald! Donald! Yo!" shouted some rappers as Donald started break dancing as well.

Angel covered her eyes.

Rain spit out her soda.

"HEY!" Riku wiped soda off his shirt and turned the TV off. "Well, that was something I NEVER want to see AGAIN."

* * *

**Rain: Eya, that was great!**

**Angel: Woo!**

**Rain: I really can't make popcorn though. See, one time I put it in for 5 minutes, and went to go do my hair-**

**Riku: 5 MINUTES!**

**Rain: Well, that's what it said on the package! Anyway, my brother came into the bathroom, and he said 'I turned the microwave off because it was smoking.' So I ran out, and it smelled really, really bad, and the bag was all black, and-**

**Riku: The sad thing is that this really happened.**

**Sakura: I love you for making me Sasuke's girlfriend!**

**Sasuke: I hate you for making Sakura my girlfriend. And for making me popcorn-impaired.**

**Rain: I love you too, Sasuke. Go be angsty somewhere else.**


	7. NotSora and the Incredible Doors!

**Rain: Hey! I'm back! Sorry it took so long...creativity block, you know.**

**Sora: She was just being lazy.**

**Rain: Maybe so, but I'm back! With a vengeance! And I finally own Kingdom Hearts! Yay!**

**Sora: Yeah!**

**Rain: Okay, okay. I know you're all impatient, so...here's the latest chapter!**

**Riku: (dressed as a weather-man) I see randomness in the forecast!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I'd RULE THE WORLD! Oh, I don't own Lucky Charms, either. If I did, Lucky wouldn't be so stupid, and the kids would be dead.**

**

* * *

**  
It was 3 o'clock in the morning. Riku was sleeping peacefully in his bedroom. He was rudely awakened at a strange noise...

Grumbling, Riku sat up. "What the heck..." He got out of bed and walked to the window. Finding nothing suspicious, he decided to go back to bed. Riku was NOT a morning person. Especially a 3-in-the-morning person.

Riku was about to fall asleep, when he heard the noise again. This time, he was angry. He jumped out of bed, and decided to find the source of the annoying sound that was preventing him from getting his beauty sleep.

* * *

Riku flung open the back door. 

"WHERE THE FRICK IS THAT NOISE COMING FROM!" he yelled.

And, lo and behold, he heard it again! This time, Riku heard where it was coming from. The garage! He grabbed a rake that was leaning against the pretzel-and-toothpaste wall, ready to kill whatever was out there so he could go back to bed.

Sneaking around the side of the house, Riku flung open the door to the garage.

Inside, he found...

Sora in his bunny pajamas. He was muttering something, over, and over, and over, and over again.

Riku dropped the rake. "What?"

"Door. Open...door..." Sora mumbled insanely.

"I repeat, what?" said Riku.

"OPEN DOOR!" cried Sora, opening the door to Riku's house. Then he ran out of the garage and down the street.

Riku decided that he would forget this ever happened and go back to bed.

Unfortunately for him, he could not forget what had happened, on account of when he walked into his house, he found every single door open, and his parents in the kitchen, glaring daggers.

* * *

Rain, Angel, and Riku sat at the kitchen table eating cereal. Well, Angel and Riku were eating cereal. Rain was drawing violent pictures on the box of Lucky Charms. 

Okay, so Angel was the only one EATING the cereal. Riku was sleeping in it.

"Riku, wake up." Angel kicked Riku under the table, which was shaped like half of a watermelon.

"Huh?" Riku jerked out of his cereal, spilling milk everywhere. "What?"

Rain stopped drawing and held the box back to admire her work. "Ah, I think Lucky's eye needs a few more arrows sticking out of it." She picked up her pen, the stopped when she saw Riku. "Riku, why are you wearing your cereal?"

Riku snorted. "Ask Sora."

"Where IS Sora?" asked Angel, taking a bite of her cereal.

"Hi guys!" Kairi walked into Rain's kitchen, dragging Sora behind her.

Angel hissed. "I really don't like you."

But Rain was busy staring at Sora, who looked like he had just been dragged through the mud, run over by a semi, thrown in the washing machine, taken out, trampled by a herd of elephants, and forced to sit and listen to Mr. Chaffee lecture about the importance of mathematics.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Rain, putting down her mutilated Lucky Charms.

"I don't know." Kairi poked Sora. "I found him like this in my front lawn."

"Door..." said Sora. "Open...door."

"He's been saying that all morning," Kairi explained. "He said someone told him-"

Suddenly, Sora stood up. " 'You will open the door.' " he quoted.

Riku sat up from where he had been slumped on the watermelon table. "You know, he was at my house last night."

Kairi was shocked. "Did you feed him uncooked ravioli again!"

"No!" shouted Riku. "Well...maybe...but that's not the point! He opened every single door in my house at 3-in-the-morning!"

"Let's get to the bottom of this, gang!" said Rain.

"Zoinks!" said Angel.

"Look, guys, I'm all right," said Sora, opening all the cupboard doors.

Kairi stared at him. "No. You're not." She slapped his hand. "And quit opening the doors!"

"Oww!" whined Sora. "What'd I do to deserve-"

Kairi saw him reaching for another door. "WOULD YOU QUIT WITH THE DOORS!" she screamed, punching him out.

"Wow." Rain kicked Sora's unconcious head.

* * *

Three days later, Sora was still opening every door in sight. When someone shut it, he just about attacked, and the door was found open again. The group decided that it was time to do something about it. 

Kairi sat in Rain's living room, dark circles under her eyes. "He thinks he hears voices!" she cried in exasperation. "I can't get him to leave me alone! 'Open the doors!' he says!"

Riku wasn't even awake. He was half-on, half-off the couch, and snoring.

"Myaa. He's going nuts," muttered Rain, busy drawing on Riku's face with a permanent marker.

Kairi was nodding off, so Angel hit her with a shovel.

"HEY!" snapped Kairi. "You didn't have to hit me THAT hard!"

Angel shrugged. "I know. But I've always wanted to do that."

Just then, Sora walked in. "Geez, guys, what's been taking you so long?" he asked, sounding irritated.

Rain, Angel, and Kairi just stared.

"I've been down in the basement for 4 DAYS!" cried Sora. "You didn't even notice?"

Rain stood up. "If YOU were in the cellar, then who has been-"

Suddenly, Sora walked into the room. "Hi guys. I just...who is HE!"

The other Sora, who claimed to have been down in the basement 4 days, turned. "What the heck!"

"I'M the real Sora," said the other other Sora.

"Uh, no, you aren't," said Rain.

"But...but how could you tell?" cried the Not-Sora.

"Guys, this is kind of freaking me out..." said the real Sora.

"Well, it was easy," exlpained Rain. "I put together the unusual circumstance, behavior, and DNA using my super-high-tech computer, and deduced that you weren't the real Sora."

"Wow," said Kairi, impressed.

"Actually, there's a cord sticking out of it's back." Rain pointed. "See?"

Sure enough, the Not-Sora was plugged into the wall by the TV.

"Gee, why didn't we notice that before?" asked Riku, who had woken up and failed to notice the doodlings on his face.

"Good question..." said Angel. "And how did he get around town, anyway?"

The Not-Sora looked around nervously. "I...uh...I...WAAHH!" It exploded.

"NO!" cried Rain, clutching her head. "NOT AGAIN! WHY MUST EVERYONE DESTROY MY HOUSE!"

* * *

"Operation Fool-Rain-With-Fake-Sora was a failure," muttered Funky into a walkie-talkie. 

"Uh, Funky, I'm right here," said Paperclip, tapping Funky on the shoulder.

"I repeat, fail-"

"Funky!" Paperclip bashed her head against the back of Funky's.

"Owie!" whined Funky, his ears getting red, which they do when he's about to start bawling. "That hurt!"

* * *

**Woo, finally updated! I think it's time to party! Not really. I have to get to work on all the other stories! Well, enjoy. Sorry again if it's short, but I tried to make it longer. Oh, and I have an idea for the next chapter, so it won't take as long.**


	8. Myths and Mayhem

**It's time for the latest chapter! And this time, I don't think it took me as long! Or, I hope it didn't. Anyway, it's going to be somewhat random, and please don't let the first part make you angry! It's just my own personal thoughts! (Ritsu-Imitation) I'm SO-OOoOrY! I'M SORRY THAT I HAVE UPSET YOU! I AM THE abSoLUTE WORSt beING on EArTh! Ahem. So. On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or Coca-Cola. Or Edward. Or Buster Baxter. What you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.**

**

* * *

**  
Riku, Sora, Kairi, Rain, and Angel were lounging in Rain's living room on colorful beanbag chairs.

"Hey, readers," said Rain, waving. "I know you're wondering why we're talking to you, because we usually don't, and we're really not even supposed to be acknowledging that we know you're there."

Riku struggled to sit up in the beanbag chair and was having little success. "This is a behind-the-scenes thing of sorts." He waved his arms frantically. "Someone help me!"

Ignoring Riku, Rain continued. "We're here in the beginning of the story to dispel some common myths."

"Don't worry," said Angel. "The real story will continue after this."

"So." Sora sipped a Coke. "Myth #1."

"Riku is not, in any way, gay." Rain shook her head. "He does NOT love Sora."

"Yeah, so stop writing about it, you sickos." Riku was still being eaten by his beanbag.

"And Sora does not love Riku," continued Rain.

"No. Way." Sora almost spit his Coke out.

"Who do you think they were fighting over in the game, people!" ranted Rain. "It sure wasn't each other!"

"Right!" exclaimed Kairi.

"Uh, I think we should move on to myth #2..." said Angel, trying to keep things from getting out of hand.

"Right." Rain took several deep breaths. "Myth #2."

"Sora CAN'T get into PG-13 movies." Riku started laughing.

"He...is that really myth #2?" asked Kairi.

"Yes, Kairi, it is," said Rain sadly. "Sora is often mistaken to be younger than his actual age."

Cloud walked into the room. "Um, am I interrupting something?"

"No, no!" Rain pointed to a beanbag. "Sit down! It's time for you to introduce myth #3."

"Well..." Cloud sat down. "Myth #3. What...IS myth #3?"

"Myth #3." Rain cleared her throat. "Kairi is not suicidally depressed."

"Why should I be? How come people keep writing stories about me being so depressed that I try to kill myself?" complained Kairi. "Sora said he'd come back, and I said 'I know.' And I was smiling. Is that the picture of some hopeless, depressed baby?"

"Kairi isn't going to kill herself, people. Get OVER it." Rain sighed.

"Ah." Cloud was ready. "Okay. Myth #4. I don't wear bunny pajamas."

"What!" cried the Cloud fangirls, hopelessly depressed that they had been lied to. "WHAT!"

"That's me." Sora raised a hand.

"And I'm NOT going to marry any of you!" shouted Cloud to the clustered fangirls, who sighed and walked away. "I'm a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Sheesh."

"My turn, my turn!" shouted Angel. "Myth #5! Riku is not, I repeat, IS NOT, in love with Ansem!"

Riku choked on the celery he had been eating. "People...SAY that!"

Rain nodded sadly. "Why would he be in love with, one, a man, and two, someone who tried to kill him?"

"Come ON people!" cried Riku, outraged. "Get your minds out of the gutter!"

"Myth #6. Namine is not meant to be with Sora." Sora spoke for himself.

"That's right. Namine is on the side of 3vi1, no matter how much she tries to make you feel sorry for her. Poor, poor Kairi." Rain sipped her Coke.

"That's RIGHT!" shouted Kairi. "Sora's MINE!"

"And," announced Riku, "the final myth, myth #7. Namine is actually a 476-year-old vampire!"

"She's working with Buster Baxter to take over the world and suck out the souls of anyone who opposes them! Plus, they eat babies!" cried Rain.

"What!" yelled Edward Cullen, appalled. "You're giving vampires a bad name, Rabbit!" He ran at Buster with a pitch-fork.

"Wah!" cried Buster, running away.

"Well, that's it for the myths section. For now, I mean." Rain stood up. "On with the story!"

* * *

Rain and Cloud sat at the watermelon table, playing poker. 

"Ha ha!" laughed Rain, slamming down 3 gummi bears. "I raise you 3 gummi bears!"

Cloud scrathed his chin. "Hmmm..." He contemplated his next move.

Suddenly the door slammed open. Rain and Cloud whirled around to see...

Sora, wearing a cape and a little black mask.

Angel came walking downstairs, took one look at Sora, and walked right back up.

"What are you DOING, Sora?" asked Rain, forgetting about the poker tournament.

"Dun dun dun!" sang Sora. "It's Superhero Sora!"

Cloud sat there and wondered what he was doing in the story.

"Oi, Sora," muttered Rain. "You aren't a superhero."

"Yes," said Sora indignantly, "I am. Riku said that to be a superhero, I just needed a cape and a mask, to hide my identity. And...how did you know it was me?"

"Sora," said Cloud. "First, you announced your name. Second, that mask doesn't hide anything, and only an idiot wouldn't be able to tell it was you."

Just then Yuffie walked out of the kitchen. "Woah, who's that guy in the mask?"

"I rest my case." Cloud smacked down his cards. "And I win again."

"Hmm..." Rain thought for a minute. "Old Maid. Best 3 out of 5."

"You're on." Cloud shuffled the deck.

Riku was the next to walk into the house, carrying a milkshake, which he almost choked on when he saw Sora. "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually believe me, Sora."

Suddenly Rain stood up. "What are all these people doing in my house? If I remember correctly, we had Sora, Riku, and Kairi-"

"Here," said Kairi from somewhere in the house.

"-me, and Angel," finished Rain. "Now we have Cloud, and Yuffie, and..." She squinted. "Wakka!"

"Ya," said Wakka, tossing his Blitzball around.

Rain did a doubletake, and everyone in the room froze. "Wakka?" she repeated, dumbfounded.

"Ya," said Wakka.

Cloud stood up, holding his huge sword. "No way am I letting that freak be in the same house as me. No WAY." He charged toward Wakka.

"Ya," said Wakka, knocking Cloud across the room with his Bliztball.

Cloud smashed into the wall.

"NO!" screamed Rain. "NOT AGAIN!"

Riku tried to back out of the room, but Wakka caught him.

"Hey, Riku, wanna hear about my Blitball game?" said Wakka, advancing on poor Riku.

"Stay AWAY!" Riku pointed a shaking finger at Wakka.

"Don't worry," said Sora. "I'll save you all! Superhero Sora, to the RESCUE!" He ran at Wakka.

"Yeah, right, what could HE possibly do that I couldn't?" muttered Cloud, brushing pieces of Rain's wall off of himself, while she sat there crying.

"My house!" Rain cried.

Everyone watched in mute horror as they watched Sora's sure demise unfold. But they were surprised when Sora pulled out...

A banana.

"Waaah!" cried Sora, smashing the banana in Wakka's hair.

"NO!" screeched Wakka. "NO, YA!"

"Wait, no yeah?" asked Angel, confused, walking through the hole in the wall.

"Ya!" cried Wakka. "MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS, YA! POTASSIUM!

Rain shrugged. "Who'd have thunk?"

Yuffie jumped around, throwing glitter. "Woo, woo!" she sang. "Woo, woo!"

"I'm out of here." Cloud walked through the hole in the wall.

"Meh." Rain walked over to the table where they had been playing cards. "Sucker." She grabbed Cloud's gummi bears and stuffed them in her mouth.

* * *

Funky stood outside one of Rain's walls, waiting for the right moment to blow it up with something explosive, causing mass chaos. 

Paperclip walked around in circles, trying to make herself dizzy.

Just as Funky was about to blow up the wall...it blew up by itself, blasting Funky sky-high. A scream of, 'MY MICROWAVE!' came from the house.

"WAAUGH!" screamed Funky, disappearing into the great blue.

Paperclip finally stopped spinning. "Funky?" she called, but Funky was nowhere in sight. "Oh well." She shrugged and decided to go get a burger. But, because she was dizzy, she just ran into a tree.

* * *

Someone watched Funky and Paperclip's futile attempts at sabatoge with a smirk on their face. "Meh," the person laughed. "Losers."

* * *

**Wow! I think it's finally getting longer again! Who is that mysterious person? Where did Cloud go? When will Sora stop being so gullible? Find out next time! Yays!**


	9. A Chain of Bad Happenings

**Apparently, it's next time! Aren't you excited to see what my warped mind comes up with next? Yes, I'm sure you are. Okay, then, let the story...begin! My brother's being a spoiled brat, so I'm going to make fun of him in this story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If you even had the slightest idea that I did, you need serious help.**

**

* * *

**"Sorry to have to start a story this way," said Rain, "Again."

"No, she's not." Riku was sitting in a lawn chair, as was everybody else, in a room painted to look like a tropical beach, with sand on the floor. "And I don't get why the room is painted like a tropical island, when we ARE on a tropical island."

Rain sipped a tropical beverage. "It's painted like a tropical island because I SAID it was to be painted like a tropical island." She finished the drink and threw the empty glass at Riku's head.

"Anyway," said Angel, adjusting her sunglasses, "it's time for more busting of the myths."

Rain nodded. "And, since Cloud knows what to do this time, and lost a bet, he's going first!"

Cloud grumbled something from his lawn chair.

"What?" Rain cocked her head. "We can't HEAR you, Cloud."

"Myth #8. I can't play poker." Cloud threw his glass at the wall, where it smashed into itty-bitty pieces.

Rain started laughing. "He can't play it to save his soul!"

"Myth #9," said Kairi, from a lawn chair across the room. "Is Sora gay?"

Rain put her head in her hands. "Not one of THESE again."

"I'm not gay!" cried Sora. "I don't love Riku! I don't know where you weirdoes get these screwed-up ideas, but stop writing fanfiction about it!"

"Please," begged Rain. "No...what's it called? Yaoi?"

"None of that. We don't support it." Aerith said from a place where she was planting flowers in the floor.

"On to Myth #10!" exclaimed Yuffie, getting impatient. "Sora's not a crybaby wimp!"

"Though I sometimes portray him as one..." admitted Rain. "He's just...well, ALMOST as brave as anyone else."

"Hey!" yelled Sora. "I thought you said I WAS as brave!"

Rain sighed. "Okay, enough of boring you with trivial details."

"But my being brave isn't trivial!" cried Sora.

* * *

Riku sighed, flipping a channel on Rain's TV. 

Rain yelled something from the other room.

"What?" shouted Riku, flipping the channel again.

"I said," said Rain, emerging into the living room, "stop mooching off me and get your OWN TV!"

"I can't," said Riku. "I don't have any money." He flipped a channel.

Angel sat next to him, on the couch. "There's nothing on," she complained.

Rain sat down next to them, hypnotized by the channel flipping. "Wow, you're right."

* * *

Five hours later, Aerith was passing by, when she smelled something burning. Being the goody-two-shoes that she was, she decided to investigate. 

She walked to the house that had smoke pouring out of it's window, and gasped. "Oh, those poor people! I should do something!" So she walked up and banged on the door.

Naturally, nobody answered.

"Hello?" yelled Aerith. "Your house is on fire!"

When no one answered again, she decided to go in and put out the fire. She busted the door open with her foot, like in an action movie.

* * *

Rain, Riku, and Angel were still sitting in front of the TV, staring at the flipping channels, when someone ran into the room, brandishing a fire extinguisher. 

They barely even flinched.

"What is WRONG with you people!" yelled Aerith, the Fire Extinguisher Woman.

"What do you mean?" asked Rain in an irritated voice. "You're interrupting our channel flipping!"

Aerith couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Your HOUSE was on FIRE!" she cried. "Didn't you notice?"

"Oh, oops," said Rain. "That was my popcorn."

"Yeah, well, it's not our fault nothing's on." Riku continued to flip through the channels.

"Well," said Aerith, exasperated. "Why don't you do something other than sit there and flip through the channels?"

"Hmm..." Riku scratched his chin. "You know, that's a good idea." He put down the remote.

"What!" cried Rain and Angel.

Riku turned. "Yeah, we should take over the TV station!" he explained.

"Wow!" said Angel.

"Good idea!" said Rain.

"Oi," said Aerith, smacking her head.

* * *

Riku, Rain, Angel, Aerith, and Cloud stood outside the Destiny Islands TV Network Station. Riku was looking for a way in, Rain was humming an annoying song, Angel was doodling on her hand., Aerith was trying (in vain) to talk sense into them, and Cloud was wondering what the heck he was doing there. 

Finally, Riku blew a hole in the wall with a stick of dynamite.

"Riku!" cried Aerith. "Why didn't you use the door? And why do you have a stick of dynamite?"

Riku glanced shiftily around, and didn't reply. Instead, he barged in through the hole in the wall, followed by Rain and Angel.

Aerith sighed, grabbed the bewildered Cloud, and ran after them.

* * *

"I'll start with this door," said Riku, pushing open a door marked 'Door #1'. "You guys get the others." 

"Zoinks," said Rain. "Let's, like, split up, gang!" She ran off.

* * *

Riku cautiously opened Door #1. And to his surprise, he found... 

That he was back in Rain's living room. He scratched his head.

"Well, this is...unexpected..." He walked into the room, and was startled to hear muffled noises coming from the closet. Riku suddenly became very afraid of what he might find. Today was defiantly WEIRD. Well, pretty much every day was weird. But still, he was on guard when he pushed open the closet to find...

Sora and Rain tied up in the closet.

"Hullo, Riku!" said Rain cheerfully. "We landed in this closet from a Chain of Bad Happenings."

Sora nodded. "You could say it was Dastardly For Vinyards."

"Um..." Riku was about to shut the closet door again, when Rain hopped out, rope and all. "Yes, a Chain of very, very Bad Happenings."

Sora nodded. "Disgusting Fan Volleys."

"Weren't we...I mean...you and..." Riku pointed in confusion to the door he had just walked out of, but when he turned, it was gone.

"First," Rain counted on her fingers. "First, our fish died in a mysterious flood. Then, we were sent to live with an extremely kind Aunt. Next, we...uh, next, we..."

"I don't remember what happened next. I think it had to do with someone who loved water, a nice Principle who played the Cello, and three out of four quadruplets." Sora tapped his head.

Rain nodded in confirmation. "Something like that. Yes, a Chain of Bad Happenings."

Riku just stared at them while they babbled on about 'Chains of Bad Happenings'. Then he wondered where Aerith was.

"Where's Aerith?" wondered Riku.

Rain glanced shiftily around. "Aerith? There is no Aerith! Aerith is a myth!"

"Ducking Fatal Vortexes!" cried Sora, and he and Rain ran off.

"Margarine!" yelled Rain from wherever they had run off to.

"Uh...huh..." Riku just walked out of the house.

* * *

Funky and Paperclip sat at an ice cream parlor. They weren't eating ice cream, because Funky only had $1 in his savings account so it wouldn't be canceled. They were trying to formulate a plan. 

"Here's the deal!" said Funky. "I can dress up like Ben Ten, and then-"

"Cool!" said Paperclip. "But I have to get home for dinner."

Funky stared at her. "We're on an island."

"Yeah." Paperclip looked at him.

"Away from our houses. FAR away."

Paperclip kept looking at him.

"Surrounded by water."

Paperclip nodded. "Look, are you trying to make some kind of point?"

Funky stared for a minute longer, then shook his head and shrugged. "Whatever."

* * *

**Another chapter! Gomen ne, dear readers. Truly sorry for the delays! Really! REALLY! I'm serious! I've been slacking off...Not that anyone could tell, right? RIGHT!**


	10. Mysterious Guy on a Vespa

**I'm back! Sooner than usual, I think, because I have new ideas! Thanks to my friend, the mysterious and psychotic Mr. Grae! Dun dun dunnn! And it's the return of the Mysterious Cool Stalker Guy! Be prepared!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or the character known as 'Agent Grae' in this story. Or the ideas for how he's portrayed. I hope he likes himself...**

**

* * *

**Tick-tock, went the clock. Because, you know, time stops for no man. In fact, it stops for no man, woman, moogle, superhero (except the cool ones that can control time), or monkey.

"I'm really, really bored," sighed Sora.

Rain was jumping around the room, throwing confetti. "Par-tay!"

"WHY!" Riku finally screamed, after watching her for a previous half-hour. "WHY SHOULD WE PARTAY!"

Rain stopped dead. Her back to Riku, time seemed to stand still.

Wait, I thought we already established that it CAN'T.

Well. Time SEEMED to stand still.

"Uh-oh," whispered Kairi. "You ought not have said that, Riku."

"Why-" started Riku, but he was about to get his answer.

Slowly, very VERY slowly, Rain turned around. "What...do...you...MEAN...why...?"

"Uh-oh is right," muttered Sora, standing up. "I'm...gonna go clean your kitchen, Rain...later!" He ran out.

"I'm gonna go help him!" cried Kairi, running after Sora.

Rain had a darkly amused look on her face as she cracked her knuckles.

Riku gulped.

* * *

Funky and Paperclip were once again sitting in the bushes. Funky was once again peering at Rain's house through a pair of binoculars. 

Paperclip cringed at the loud banging noises coming from the house. "What is she DOING in there?"

"My sister is crazy, insane, and dangerous. She can't be trusted at ANY time. ANY TIME at all." Funky laughed. "We might not have to do anything at all! She might kill them all herself! Ahh, I can picture it now..."

_**Funky's Picture**_

Rain stood in the middle of the room, holding a lamp. She glanced around her.

Strewn all over the floor were magazines, confetti, and broken glass. Plus the bodies of Riku, Sora, and Kairi, all with convenient little 'X's for eyes.

"Eh..." Rain scratched her cool hair. "What happened to the party?" She looked around again, then her eyes fell on the knocked-out...or possibly dead...Riku, Sora, and Kairi.

Shock marks popped around. "WHAT HAVE I DONE!" she cried. "OH NO! I KILLED THEM! Quick, hide the bodies!"

_**End Picture**_

"Yes," Funky nodded. "That would be perfect."

* * *

In the OTHER bushes, a cool shot of someone's face in shadows. 

"Heh." The person grinned, and adjusted his goggles.

The sound of an engine roaring to life could be heard.

The mysterious person revved the engine.

* * *

Funky was still watching the house when... 

Paperclip was the first to notice the noise. "Uh..." She tugged on Funky's arm.

"Not now!" hissed Funky. The crashing noises had come to a stop.

"WAAAAAH!" he heard his sister cry from inside the house. "I'VE KILLED THEM! HIDE THE BODIES!"

"Just as I predicted," laughed Funky.

Suddenly, Funky noticed what Paperclip had been trying to point out. An...engine?

"What IS that?" asked Funky, still looking at the house.

And, before you could say, "I've just been run over by a crazy person", Funky was...well, run over by a crazy person.

"WAUGH!" cried Paperclip.

"OUCH!" screeched Funky. Then he didn't say anything, because he was in the process of being run over.

By a red Vespa.

* * *

Meanwhile, the house was in turmoil as well. Rain was busily trying to stuff Riku's unconscious body into the hall closet. 

"I can't believe I killed him!" she wailed, kicking his head to get it to fit in the small space. "And he won't FIT!"

Sora and Kairi had already escaped the house, and were running for their dear lives.

* * *

"What is going ON!" cried Paperclip. 

Just in case you didn't know, we're back with the mysterious psychotic in the bushes. On the red Vespa. Remember?

"Oops!" the person on the Vespa said. "Sorry. Were you sitting there?"

"Uh, kind of!" cried Paperclip, kicking Funky to wake him up.

"I'm up!" yelled Funky, sitting up.

"Who are you, anyway, and why are you riding a Vespa?" asked Paperclip.

"I'm Agent Grae," said Mr. Grae, "And I'm riding a Vespa because I'm cool, duh."

Funky and Paperclip exchanged a 'look'.

"Uh..." Agent Grae adjusted his goggles. "You know, I...er...I didn't run you over...on purpose. You believe me, right?"

Of course, anyone with ANY sense at all would have realized that Agent Grae HAD, in fact, meant to run Funky over.

"But you could have at least died," continued Agent Grae. "That's usually what happens when people get run over by Vespas..." He scratched his head. "Hmmm...maybe I didn't go fast enough...?"

"You-" started Funky.

"Silence!" cried Agent Grae suddenly. "I need to go!" He pulled a dark electric blue guitar off his back. "But first, a parting song!"

"I don't WANT to hear a song!" yelled Funky. "I WANT you to LEAVE!"

Agent Grae stuck out his tongue. "Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed!" He put the guitar on his back again. "Fine, then. I'm off. But I WILL BE BACK!" He raised a hand in a heroic salute.

Silence. You could practically hear the echoed 'Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. . . .'

Agent Grae stood there a minute longer. Then he looked around, hopped back on his Vespa, and sped off.

"That was really, really weird," said Paperclip.

Funky was too busy rubbing the tire-marks off his face to respond.

* * *

Where is Agent Grae heading? Let's find out. 

Agent Grae sped along the dirt bike trail on his red Vespa, a cloud of dust behind him. Suddenly, he spied a movement by the side of the trail.

"Hmm...better check it out!" Agent Grae announce, making to stop his Vespa.

Which didn't stop.

"AHHH!" cried Agent Grae, taking his hands off the handles. "STOP! STOP!"

There was a loud crash as Agent Grae's Vespa hit a tree.

Hey, but it stopped!

* * *

Rain was dragging Riku through the bushes. 

"I've got to hide the evidence!" she proclaimed.

"But I'm not DEAD!" yelled Riku. He'd been yelling that for at least 20 minutes.

"Shut UP, Riku," said Rain. "I'm TRYING to hide your dead body without anyone finding out!"

Suddenly, someone busted through the bushes, panting.

"S...stop!" said Agent Grae, out of breath. "I..." He paused, taking deep breaths. "Hold on...hold on..."

Rain and Riku both stared at the disheveled young man, who was wearing goggles and had a dark electric blue guitar strapped to his back.

"What are you, some kind of traveling bum?" Riku finally asked, while Agent Grae was still regaining his composure.

"Hoo!" sighed Agent Grae. "That whole crashing business tired me out! Okay." He stood up straight, and raised a finger in the air. "Of course not! I'm...AGENT GRAE!"

"Agent...Grae?" asked both Rain and Riku.

Agent Grae put his hand down. "Well, yeah. And I'm here to investigate-"

"OH NO!" cried Rain. "Not a murder, right!"

Agent Grae stopped. "Er...no."

"Whew. Good." Rain looked around. "Carry on."

"Eh..." said Agent Grae. "Never mind. I kind of...forgot what I'm here to investigate."

"I do that all the time." Rain nodded in approval of this weird newcomer.

"Excuse me, but CAN I GET UP NOW!" yelled Riku.

"Speaking of getting up..." said Agent Grae. "I just ran over someone."

"How is that speaking of getting up?" shouted Riku.

"Do you think he'll sue?" A sly look crossed Agent Grae's face. "He doesn't know who I am. Heh heh heh..." The he saluted. "I've got to go see a man about a bridge!"

"Wow, cool!" said Rain, punching the air. "Go!"

"I will!" Agent Grae then ran off, kicking up MORE dust.

* * *

**To be continued! Yet again! Who is this Agent Grae? What's he investigating? What's that guitar for? Is the Vespa broken? Will he give me goggles? And more importantly, will he like how I portrayed him! The SUSPENSE! I'll update again soon! You have my word! But wait...where's Angel! Don't worry, dear readers...(meaning you, ChibiGarra, aka Angel). She's back in the next chapter!  
**


	11. Enter, Roxas!

**Hi! Back I am being! The Great Rain! How are you to be doing? Good? Magnificent? Fabulous? Enough of the chit-chat. Us heroes, we have so much to do! Today I have brought you that which is being the newest chapter! The Great Rain has lost count! She always loses count! Most of the time! Almost always! Sometimes. So, without us further being irritating, you will be reading the newest chapter! Lalala! You shall be being congratulated if you are recognizing the way I am talking!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains scenes with a strange masked creature. If you be not liking...I mean, if you don't like strange masked creatures, with masks, might I add, who are strange, you will STOP READING RIGHT AWAY.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or the Great Mizuti, or Sarg. Oh, or Dengaku Man.  
**

**

* * *

**"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road!"

Riku was woken up from where he had fallen asleep in his front yard by someone singing a monotonously annoying tune. The first thing he did...okay, the first thing he did BESIDES waking up...was to yell some profanity.

Remember, this is a K rated story. Okay, it's K+. But Riku's words will not be repeated on the screen! So don't even think about it!

Anyway.

Riku sat up, very, very angry. He was sick and tired of being woken up by random noises.

Well, he was mostly tired. Which was why he had fallen asleep in the yard, weeding his mom's garden.

So Riku decided that he was going to find the person who was making the noises, and MAKE THEM PAY.

Yes, my friends. MAKE THEM PAY.

* * *

Eventually, Riku found where the noises were coming from. And what he saw did not please him. 

Actually, it rather freaked him out.

"Follow. The," chanted Rain, marching around in a small circle, which apparently she had been doing for a while, because there was a small circle worn in the grass from the small circle she had been walking in.

"Yellow. Brick," finished Angel, who, after not appearing in the last chapter, was back, spinning in an even smaller circle.

"ROAD!" both girls cried simultaneously.

And both girls were dressed up as...

"...ghosts?" said Riku, still in shock.

Rain stopped walking in her small circle. She turned and stared at Riku, in her ghostly costume.

Angel fell over sideways, because she was dizzy from spinning.

"You have interrupted our ritual!" yelled Rain, running at Riku with a large stick she had suddenly acquired.

Riku shielded his head with his arms. "ACK! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" he cried, trying to run away from Ghostly Rain.

Angel stood up, and tried to run after Riku as well, but she was still dizzy. She ran into a tree.

Finally, Rain stopped chasing Riku. Probably because she was getting tired.

"Riku, you shall be forgiven, because I'm tired and can't chase you anymore," said Rain, falling over.

"Oh, thank GOD," panted Riku, leaning against a tree.

By then Angel had been able to stand up, so she was the only one not tired.

"Huh, looks like I'm the only one not tired," said Angel, re-stating the obvious.

"We gain more fans by the day!" Rain exclaimed proudly.

* * *

"Ghostly Rain...heh...that's so cool. It makes me sound like some kind of angsty, mysterious ghost, or something." Rain was walking around her yard, still in her ghost-costume. 

"Ghostly Angel makes me sound like an angst writer," snickered Angel, walking around the yard as well.

"What are you two DOING?" asked Riku, exasperated.

Rain stopped, hands on hips. "What does it LOOK like we're doing, genius?"

"If I had known, do you think I would have asked?" cried Riku.

Angel rolled her eyes. "We are having an Easter-egg hunt," she said.

"An...EASTER-EGG HUNT!" Riku smacked his head. "But it's not even CLOSE to Easter!"

"That's what's fun about it," Angel replied, hiding an egg by tossing it onto the roof.

"How's anyone even going to GET those eggs, let alone FIND them?" sighed Riku. He put his hands in his pockets, ready to walk off, when...

"Tally ho!" came a voice.

"What-" Riku was able to get out, before he was run over by a horse.

And not just any horse.

A horse with a strange person sitting on top of it.

In a British riding outfit.

Plus matching hat and boots.

That's right, you guessed who it was.

Wait, you didn't? Oh.

It was the mysterious Agent Grae!

"Yes," said Agent Grae. "It's me, the mysterious Agent Grae."

"Uh, Agent Grae, the story just TOLD them that," said Rain.

"..." Agent Grae pointed his riding crop at the sky. "What is today's prize!"

Suddenly, for no apparent reason at all, except that he needed to appear in the story, because he hadn't for a while, and the story was about him, Sora walked out of Rain's house, and was promptly hit in the head with a hardboiled egg being 'hidden' by Angel.

"That was the longest sentence in any of your stories ever!" cried Sora, rubbing his poor little head.

"Thank you, thank you!" said Rain, bowing. A bouquet was thrown at her still-ghostly feet, while invisible people cheered.

Riku sat up, realizing his spine wasn't broken. "Two ghosts and a Brit?" he asked, getting ready to duck-and-cover.

"Well, duh," said Angel, like it was the most explainable thing in the world.

* * *

Rain sat in the top of the tree, holding a megaphone. "Are y'all ready?" she asked. 

"Ye-ah!" cried the people gathered on the ground, consisting of Angel, Riku, Sora, Agent Grae, not-Kairi, and Dengaku man.

"Today's prize is..." started Rain, when she was interrupted by Agent Grae, possibly the most spastic person ever to come into the story.

"A RUSTY BOTTLE CAP!" he shouted. "I MUST HAVE IT!"

"Er...sure," said Rain, going along with it, because it sure sounded cheaper than anything she would have thought of. "On your marks-"

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the expected yell from Agent Grae, who raced off on his horse, waving his arms around.

Angel ran in the other direction, crying something about 'Gaara'.

Riku just turned and left.

Sora, on the other, other, other hand...how many hands do I have?...stood there, speechless.

"What's...going on?" he asked.

"Run, Sora, RUN!" screamed Rain, throwing rocks at Sora.

So poor little Sora ran, Sora, ran.

Dengaku man, on the...something hand...raised his chubby little Dengaku arms. "Make him eat TOFU!" he cried.

"Aww, so cute!" squealed Rain, almost falling out of the tree.

* * *

"What am I doing?" asked Sora, to himself, mostly. Well, a lot mostly, because he was BY himself. 

"Wooooo, you're finding eggs, wooooooo," came the badly-spooky voice of the badly-hidden ghostly Rain.

"Yes, yes, that's right, I'm finding..." but poor Sora was cut off from his unrealistic realization...unrealization...whatever...when he was hit by a falling...

"We have a viiiiiiiiiiiiiiisitoooooooooooooor!" shrieked Rain, because she likes to shriek.

The 'visitor' sat up. Well, okay, he sat up on Sora, because he was sitting on Sora. Being landed on him and all.

"Where...where the heck am I?" asked the visitor groggily, most likely because he had been pulled from his nice nap to be thrown onto his unsuspecting other. "And..." He glanced at Rain. "What's up with YOU?"

"Yes, that's right, it's Roxas!" cheered Rain. "I see you have recognized that I am a fearsome Ghost Girl!" She patted Roxas on the back, not the head, because his hair was way to spiky.

Roxas rubbed his eyes. "Who are you talking to?"

Rain glanced up at the sky, with sparkles in her eyes. "My fans..." she sighed wistfully.

"Could we please get off Sora?" asked Sora, who, contrary to popular belief, was not dead.

"You're not dead?" asked Rain.

Sora pointed up to the sentence above. "What does it say up there?"

Rain read the sentence, then muttered an 'Oh'.

"Yeahhhhh..." said Roxas, standing up. "I'm...outta here. Bye." He walked off, staying true to his newly acquired title of 'The Boy Who Doesn't Appear in Much of Anything, Especially Not Kingdom Hearts II'.

"Why don't I get a coolio title?" whined Sora, checking to make sure nothing was broken. "And where's Kairi?"

"What does anyone know?" replied Rain vaguely. "Why is the sky blue? Why is school utterly pointless? Why don't I have a million dollars?" She walked away, hands in the air. "Who knows?"

* * *

Riku, meanwhile, was walking back to his house. Well, he THOUGHT he was walking back to his house. Little did he know that he was walking right into a trap. 

Funky Magnum peered through his plastic kiddy-binoculars. "He's walking right into a trap!" he giggled, eyes going all weird like Zatch when he rubs his freakish head against a fish.

"Funky, you are scaring me." A mysterious boy sat next to Funky Magnum, because Paperclip had to do something called 'chores'.

"Shh, Sergeant Quintissimo." Funky clapped a hand over the Sarg's mouth. We'll call him 'Sarg' for short.

"I'm not short!" exclaimed Sarg, who was, indeed, short.

Funky smacked his fool head. "Would you shut up! We are TRYING to trap Riku."

"Rik-who?" asked Sarg.

* * *

**Dun dun dun! This story is now 'To Be Continued'! But don't worry. The chapter was just getting too long, so I divided it in half. Expect the next one soon! I promise! I just beat Kingdom Hearts II, so expect some references! Yeah! And thanks to Mr. Grae for the great ideas! I hope he doesn't mind that I used them...  
**


	12. The Hunt Continues!

**Waah, my brother's getting on my case about being on the internet again. Brat. If I were his mother, I spank the living daylights out of that twerp, just for fun. Anyway, here's the continued chapter. Happy trails!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. Whoever does is a GENIUS and I LOVE THEM!**

* * *

Where were we? An epic space battle between a cool hero and a chibi geek?

Woops, wrong script.

Ahem. Yes, found the spot. Here we are.

Rain was sitting up in a tree, hugging a stuffed bunny and singing 'On The Road Again'. Well, sort of.

Okay, maybe not. Well...

Okay, she was sitting up in a tree, hugging a stuffed ELEPHANT, and singing 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'.

Suddenly, she heard a shouting from down below.

"Hellooooooo, down there!" she called, hand cupped around her mouth.

"I won't do it, and that's FINAL!" shouted a very upset--

* * *

"So sorry," said Rain, from her living room. "We had to interrupt the story for a very important...er...what exactly are we interrupting the story for?"

Agent Grae was walking in a circle, strumming on a random ukulele. "I dunno."

Angel scratched her head. "Me neither."

Rain shrugged. "Well, it's something." She brandished a well-worn picture. "LOOK UPON IT AND FAINT OF UTTER JOY!"

The fangirls all fainted at the picture of little Riku that Rain had just recently found on the internet.

"Anyway," said Rain, folding up her secret weapon and putting it back in the pocket of her penguin pajama pants. "I'm here to give a special announcement." She brushed the front of her Organization jacket, which was almost hiding her coolio pants.

"Would you hurry it up?" came a voice from the closet. "It's getting hard to breath in here, and I think my arm's falling asleep, and-"

"Yeah, yeah." Rain waved a hand at the closet. "Okay. In our story, we now have..."

There was a drum roll, followed by a huge cymbal bang.

"Roxas!" screamed Angel, flinging the closet open.

A disco ball fell from the ceiling, spun, and the room was filled with those little light spots. Confetti flew out of the closet, and then colored smoke poured out.

Nothing else happened.

"Uh...Angel, where's Roxas?" asked Rain nervously.

"Wrong closet, idiot," came the voice from the closet across the room.

Rain coughed. "Uh...right." She ran over and opened the door, from which a bunch of clothes fell out.

"I don't see him," said Agent Grae, holding his ukulele above his head as a weapon.

Then, Roxas fell out of the closet. Rain poked him.

"Angel, I think he's dead..." Rain began attempting to stuff Roxas back into the closet.

"No, No!" shouted Roxas, jumping up. "Please, not again! Not again! I'm alive!"

Rain shrugged. "We-ell...okay. Next announcement. Since the release of Kingdom Hearts II, I realize that the images of Sora, Kairi, and Riku may have changed in the hearts and minds of some of you. I'll not say what they look like. You can imagine for yourself. Unless I get a unanimous vote on what appearances you like best. KH1, or KH2."

"She's hinting at a review," said Roxas, rubbing his neck, which was sore from being stuffed in the wrong closet.

"And now back to the story," said Agent Grae, now swinging a golf club and dressed in his Country-Club best. "Anchors aweigh!"

* * *

--Leon. "I won't do it! Never in a million years!" He stuck his fingers in his ears. "Lalala, I'm not listening to you..."

Yuffie hit Leon with a stick. "LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEE!" she screeched.

"You two are interrupting my story!" yelled Rain from her spot in the tree. She had stopped singing and was now watching Advent Children on her portable DVD player, brought to you by SORA corporation.

"What's the SORA stand for?" asked Yuffie.

"Strangely Organized Radio Announcement corporation," said Rain, holding up a finger. "Which makes no sense. That's their motto."

Leon was taking this chance to sneak away, but Yuffie caught him.

"It's too late, Leon," said Rain in a mock-serious voice. "You belong to the dark side now. All your base are belonging to us."

"Kupo!" agreed a random moogle.

"Great Ninja Yuffie commandeths...commandeths...commands you to sit!"

Leon sat.

"Leon," started Yuffie, pacing around. Military music started playing in the background. Up in the tree, Rain could be heard laughing as the monsters dragged the stupid townsfolk away. "Leon, you know we are in the midst of a battle! And as your...your...what am I? Your commander? As your commander, I expect you to do all you can for the cause."

Leon's head was nodding, but little did Yuffie know that he was nodding not at her words, but at the pleasant music playing from his MP3 player.

"Leon, are you even listening to me?" Yuffie threw a water bottle at Leon's head.

"Ouch," said Leon.

"Say it with more passion!" shouted Rain from her tree.

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!" screamed Leon, jumping up and clutching his head like a dying man. "OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!"

"G-L-A-D spells glad!" sang Rain. Then she tossed a popsicle down to Leon.

"What in the world am I supposed to do with this?" asked Leon.

Rain jumped out of the tree. "Sing it like you mean it, brudda!"

So Leon started singing. What exactly was he singing? The music from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" came wafting through the air. THAT'S what Leon was singing.

"Where, oh where, is that random moogle!" cried Yuffie. Finding it, she picked it up and chucked it at Leon's head.

"Kupo!" complained the moogle.

Leon promptly fell to the ground, unconscious. Fire Emblem music, or, more specifically, Together We Ride, started playing.

"Dun-dun -dun DA dun-dun-dun DA dun-dun-dun DA dun-dun-dun DA," sang Rain.

"Do I hear battle music?" Agent Grae's voice carried over the music.

"Indeed!" Rain drew one of those plastic bubble swords. "Rain, Pegasus Knight of Ilia, is ready for intense battle!"

Agent Grae charged up with one of those stick-pony-pony-head-stick things. "ATTACK!" He started hitting Rain with a foam noodle. Like the ones in swimming pools.

Riku ran up. "STOP!"

Everyone stopped.

"Riku-wiku, WHAT is your problem?" asked Angel, walking up.

"And where have YOU been?" Riku asked back.

Angel glanced shiftily around. "Look, if you hear about a bank robbery, I had nothing to do with it, okay?"

Rain shrugged. Riku decided he was better off not asking. Yuffie sipped a grape soda. Agent Grae was busy wrapping his foam noodle around Riku's neck. Roxas skipped rope.

Yuffie spit out her soda. "Roxas? Why are you skipping rope!"

"'cause I feel like it," said Roxas, still skipping the rope that he had stolen from Selphie after she had tried to kill him with it.

"Fair enough." Yuffie went back to her delici-ici-icious grape soda.

And Leon...well, Leon was unconscious.

What of Funky and Sarg, you ask? Well...

The whole 'kidnap Riku' plan did not go well. They had forgotten one small detail.

That Riku was the coolest person in the world. And he had magical hair.

And so, therefore, in conclusion to this chapter, Funky and Sarg were hanging by their underwear from a nearby tree.

"Rats," said Funky-Wunky. "Foiled again."

"Funky," said Sarg. "I'm not having much fun anymore."

* * *

**Thus ends the chapter. Sorry, I ran out of ideas. That's why it got really weird. Hope you don't mind. I've got stuff to do. Like work on my neglected stories. And play FFVII, which I found at the videogame store bathed in heavenly light. And play KHII. Again. I just beat my second level last night, but have yet to beat that accursed Sephiroth. If you have beaten him, please tell me! And if you know what the heck is going on, during the credits, when Leon reads a letter with a magical pink butterfly and Aerith sits and stares at something in the sky, tell me that too! That is all. Oh, one more thing. Bleach.**


End file.
